QOTDs:
Albert Camus: A slave begins by demanding justice and ends by wanting to wear a crown.
Tired Emily: A slave beings by demanding justice and ends by wearing to want a crown.

Becca: He just walked up to me and said "I'm naughty!"
Thomas: No, I said you were naughty.
Me: Hmm... okay, Thomas, you are a saucy boy. Becca, you've been a naughty girl and must be punished. Meow.

"Whoa, Emily, that's the awesomest thing I've ever seen."

"You're a yummy goth!"

There was some funny conversation between me and James about gothicity (yep, I love the word) but I can't remember it. So make something up that's semi-worthy of the greatness that is us.

Just so everyone knows... I heart aardvark... but you all already knew that, I'm sure.

QOTDs:
Justin: Damn you Emily, why can't I have James?
Me: As one of many reasons, because he's straight?
Justin: Damn you and your F-SPA.

"Cette petite fille aime beaucoup jouer avec (les nuages/son voeu)."

The Lesser-Known Commandments:
11: Thy wife shalt always have the last word in thine arguement. If ever thou hast the last word, tis the beginning of a new argument.
12: Thou shalt not smiteth thy brother's gonads.
13: Thou shalt not wear thy socks with thine flipflops.
14: Thou shalt not interfere with thy fiancee's wedding plans, for thoust may hath been planning for six months, but she hath been planning since the sixth year.
15: Thou shalt send flowers with no reason in mortal sight, thus when thee forgeteth thine anniversery, thou shalt hast less suspicion as thou makest thy last minute plans.

QOTDs:
"The Taliban: Worse than the Catholic church!!!"

Becca: But I might want to date Nelson.
Me: Is that the Italian guy's name?
Becca: Actually he's Peruvian. And he spent a year in France.
Me: Ooh, if you date him can I talk to him in french?
Becca: That's what Sarah said.
Me: Becca! We could be foreign-boyfriend buddies!

"When she says PLAY YOUR EFFIN CHIMES that'll be your first clue."

QOTDs:
Thomas: Can someone please toss me at least one ball?
Me: Yeah, Thomas, you're in dire need of some balls.

"So, if not for virgin sacrifice, what is the black robe for?"

My mother: You should play that for me over the telephone on Mother's Day. Or get your rock star husband to do it.
Me: Mom? If I ever, EVER try to marry a rock star, please talk me out of it.
My mother: Emily, I've never been able to talk you out of anything.

QOTDs:
Thomas: Would you like to meet Tony?
Me: Put. The cleaver. Down.

Thomas: As you can see, my gate's missing a flower.
Me: Heh. Someone deflowered your gate.

Thomas: Ahh, Emily being run over by parked cars... all is still normal in the world.

Also worth mentioning: Thomas's "I'm Too Sexy" dance. It was very funny.

QOTDs:
James: I've never liked weddings. There's a lot of standing around and all your old age relatives come up and pinch your cheeks and say 'You'll be next!' I prefer funerals, I get to do the same thing in revenge.

QOTDs:
Roete: Where've you been?
Me: Sick.
Roete: You whore.

Becca: EMILY! I HAVE YOUR BRA!
Me: OKAY, THANK YOU!
Thomas (later): I like how she just yelled that through the crowd. "I HAVE YOUR BRA!"
Me: Okay, you do realize that a very large amount of people just heard you tell me you have my bra, right? And you wonder why the populace thinks you're probably gay?

Me: Alas.
Simon: Yes you are.

QOTDs:
James: My nose is my worst feature.
Me: Really? I like your nose.
(pause)
James: Oh look, a badger!
Me (simultaneously): It's Roman.
Me: Your nose, not the badger.
James: Hail Caesar! We who are about to burrow salute thee!

The Warning Game:
"So, you take some (you) sentence that someone said, place the word "warning" in it, then repeat it. So, someone says: "go turn that thing on". You say, "Warning: go turn that thing on." Someone else could then say, "Warning: That thing go(es) turn on." "Warning: Turn that go thing on." ~ Ryan

QOTDs:
"I'm still stuck on the cat thing."

Thomas: Seriously, how can you not like him? He's the hero! On the white horse!
Me: I like my men on black horses, thank you very much.
Thomas (gives look): coughhairecough.
Me: Oh, don't even start.

Thomas: So this raises the question, do I just fill this part out or give her a separate note too?
Me: Just fill out the part. She cheated on you, sweetie.
Thomas: Yeah, but see, I feel guilty deep inside for not caring that she cheated.

"Oh, okay, so HE has disassociative personality disorder."

Becca: All dogs are boys and all cats are girls.
Thomas: So you're saying all dogs are gay and all cats are lesbians?

Thomas: You really don't think he's cute?
Me: Nope.
Thomas: I think he's pretty.
Me: Well, that's cause you like your men pretty.
Thomas: Yep. Hey!

Me: Not sure if I'm following you.
Ryan: I don't like it, but I do. Like S&M play!

QOTDs:
Thomas (pointing at me and Becca's shirts): Heyyyy, you're both blue!
Me (pointing at Thomas's shirt): You are too!
Thomas: We could be like that group, what're they called?
Me: The... blue man group...? D'oh?
Thomas: Riiiight.

Me: Becca, you're too pretty for me to be sick.
Becca: You're sick?

"I heart civet."

Me: Becca really needs to give me back my bra. It's my favorite.
Kels: Heh, every time you say that it sounds like something kinky happened, and I keep thinking it was from last Friday and I'm like 'whoa, what'd I miss??'
Me: Yep, you missed the kinky lesbian sex in the corner because you were too busy ogling Thomas.
Kels: Well, see, I don't like Thomas, but he is a serious HOTTIE!

QOTDs:
James' idea for a response to my sister's email (I couldn't think of one):
"Hi, this is James, your sister's debauched satanist foreign love interest. She can't come to the keyboard right now because she's tied down to my bed she's being sacrificed on an altar I cooked her and ate her for lunch she's feeling a bit under the weather."

Big Sister Is Watching...

Forgive Kelsey's bright blue eyes. ^.^

QOTDs:
Kat & Me (can't remember who said what):
"Sorry I'm late, I was just rubbing my hands."
"Sorry I couldn't come to the phone sooner, [name here] wouldn't let go of my hand."
"I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand."
"We could sell it and make money hand over fist."
"We could even go into business! Let's shake hands on it."

"Are you not full of intense or unrestrained sexual craving?"

Me: Could've distilled a lot more idiocy out of that one...
James: Lookit him run!
Me: Daddy's home...
James: Oh god, that was worth hours of idiocy.

Kels... if you read this, which I'm sure you will... do you remember last year when me and Thomas and Rishi (or possibly two years ago) were making up a lot of limericks? You made up a really funny one about Thomas I think, I think it had to do with incest and possibly a gender change, and the last line was something like "And now they call him Aunt Mom." (I think it started with There once was a boy named Tom...) Can you remember that? Just curious.

QOTDs:
Me: It kind of looks like there's a bra hanging off your bed. Something you want to tell us?
David: Yes. I wear bras.

QOTDs:
Becca: It's like I'm a sexual predator and you're the predatee!

(Everyone talking at once)
(Sudden silence)
Kelsey: ...and cherries on my nipples.

Me:: I wish James was here.
Thomas: Hey, be glad you HAVE a boyfriend. I want one.
(pause)
Thomas: Girlfriend! Girlfriend!

(I whisper the thing in Kelsey's ear)
Kels (aloud): With a priest??!?!

Thomas: Of course, I could always do the turn-the-cheek thing.
Me: Heh. "I thought he was going to tickle me!"
Thomas: Ahhh, Will and Kelsey...
(pause)
Thomas: No... wait... me and Kelsey.
Me: There we go.

What happens when Seonha gets drunk:
"life is good
i am a particle hehe
it starts from the initial kinetic energy
wear pink tonight ^^ supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
love ya~"

Actually I have no idea what her status was when she put that up as an away message, but it was too wacky not to comment on. And I'll never know, probably, since I never talk to her anymore. Oh well.

I'm going to take a time-out from sinus pain and detail how lucky I feel.

I'm very lucky!

Go me. Go the people that can always make me smile. Additionally, go ninjas. Go pirates. Go etymology. Go chocolate. Go zeugmas. Go irony. Go Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett. Go Joss Whedon. Hell, go my dog, even if he does terrify my friends. (Come ON, people, he weighs seven freaking pounds!)

QOTDs:
Becca: I'm fed up with men. I should become a lesbian.
Me: You and me baby, right now.
Becca: That'd be hilarious!
(I stare)
Becca: Well, it would be, because you're Thomas's best friend! I can see it now... "Thomas, I have something to tell you, try not to be upset, but... Becca and I are in love! And you can't stop it! Please try to accept it!"

Peter: What was that dumpster guy's name? Lars something?
Me: Lars the Dumpster Diver.
Peter: Hehe, but seriously.
Me: No. He's Lars the Dumpster Diver now and shall always remain Lars the Dumpster Diver.

Becca: Should I email?
Me: Yes. Wait, no. Well, keep it friendly until you get over Brian. Or Thomas... I hate your life.

Thomas: You're a great sister-figure! Only not so much in the nunly sense.

paulANDsilas07 [10:16 PM]: know those chain comments on blogs and xangas?
Celebrithe7 [10:16 PM]: yeah?
paulANDsilas07 [10:16 PM]: i wanna start one that goes as follows:
paulANDsilas07 [10:17 PM]: i have captured two baby squirrels. if you dont send this to ten people i will feed them to my giant purple gorilla.

QOTDs:
Adam: Hey, let's have an orgy like in the Matrix! Hey everyone, orgy at Thomas's!

Me: There's a first time for everything.
Becca: Reeeally?
Me: Like you and me, baby.
Becca: But... that wouldn't be the first time...
Me: We could have a first time at... um... Thomas's place?
Thomas (not listening): Oh good, there's no train.
Kelsey: Here's where you go really creepy and say "and then your father could join us."
Thomas (still oblivious): I hate four-way stops.

Becca: My boobs are plump and delicious!

Boy Scout: Would you like to sample some?
Becca: Oh, I'll sample some.
Me: Young ears! Young ears!
Becca (later): I like girl scouts. They know what kinda cookies I like.

Becca: Lick me!
Kels: Lick me, damnit!
Becca: I like dogs.
Kels: Apparently. Butterworth, Brian...

Me (on the phone): Sorry, I can't make it for dinner tonight, I've got a migraine.
My dad: Hung over, huh?

Simon: Well, it was worth a shot to ask, but now... You must be happy Christinemily! you must help me make the music of the night. You compose, I'll snore.
Me: Hee.
Simon: Which would be a good idea about now. So I'll bid you adieu for the time being. When we speak again, you better be happy, or else I'll come over there and carve your face up with an icepick. No wait. Wrong phrase.
Me: Would I get to wear a phantom-esque mask?
Simon: You may if want.