I'm going to take a moment to revel in the glory of 39 COMMENTS! It's like a dream! Of course, half of those come from me, but still. It makes me joyful and full of mirth. Like a root beer float.

QOTDs:
Beth: Only you... would actually use the word assonance.
Me: Only I... would take that a compliment.

"thats 5 to 9? monday thru thursday? and my normal shift? is 4 to 8? monday thru thursday? so i talked? to the guy? and he said? i could come in? in the afternoon instead? this is really? really annoying? i have this? really strong urge? to IM dbl? like this and ask? what his level of stable-ness is? this evening? and be like? 'cuz hell, my level of stableness? is like way down? to the level of incoherent? because i'm really tired?'"

For the record... let me say that A) Beth was beyond tired when she typed that because she's busy like whoa, and B) that our obsession with dbl has gone on for about, oh, three years now and it's absolutely pathetic.

Ahh, dbl... He plays for tips. In Buffalo. The city. ("I thought he lived in the city?" "He does. Buffalo. The city.") And of course, there's just... the way that he is... for example, last night's conversation:
Beth: Hi.
DBL: I'm not stable my girlfriend is amazing talk to me later.

And tonight's...
DBL: Blah I kissed a girl.
Beth: Why is that a blah?
DBL: I don't know. Pitter patter goes my heart.
Beth: So is it just a blah day?
DBL: No, I just felt like saying it. I want a chicken burger.

...wow. Just... wow.

I'd like to take this opportunity to do the dance of YAY on Ryan's behalf.

[does the dance of YAY!]

Thank you.

The playwright Jonathan Rand was sitting at a sizeable table selling his wares, so, I bought a few scripts for a few short plays, one of them called "Check, Please", which is about a boy and a girl that go on a series of awful dates... it's hilarious, but I thought to myself, I have to post this bit on my blog. It's from a scene in which GIRL is on a date with MANNY, the man of a million phobias. It's not one of the better scenes, but... well, you'll see... the two have been trying to decide on entrees but Manny's afraid of all the food.

GIRL: How about the sushi?
MANNY: Japanaphobia. (Beat.) It's the-
GIRL: Yeah, I got it. How about this? It's that Hawaiian fish my dad loves. Lemme see if I can say it right: humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apuaa.
MANNY: That actually sounds delicious.
GIRL: Great!
MANNY: But I suffer from a rare case of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
GIRL: Which is?
MANNY: Fear of long words.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is basically the same thing as sesquipedalophobia, so I assume someone just thougt it was funny to make the "fear of long words" word longer. Sesquipedalophobia is the preferred word for use in formal writing. Another scene from the play, which is probably my favorite scene.

Scene 5
(Lights up to MARK dressed in nothing but a burlap sack. He's looking at the menu, as if nothing is out of the ordinary. GIRL is looking at him, expressionless. After several moments, he folds the menu, his dinner decision made. He looks up. Pause.)
MARK: (Innocent:) What?
(Scene.)

Then there's The Least Offensive Play In The Whole Darn World, which is basically an infomercial-type thing for the ScriptCleaner5000, which removes offensive material from shows...

SHELLY: While we're on the subject of the awards: In 1996, the world was taken by storm by another Pulitzer- and Tony-winning phenomenon called Rent. Rent is a rock opera that deals with a number of issues, including sex, drug use, mugging, strippers, violence, rioting, gays, lesbians, homelessness, drag queens, suicide, and AIDS.
(Pause.)
TOM: Those things are bad.
(Beat.)
Is there cursing?
SHELLY: There's rarely a moment without it.
TOM: Don't tell me the ScriptCleaner 5000 can help that trainwreck.
SHELLY: I won't tell you; I'll show you. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the musical sensation Rent, completely free of offensive material!
(Lights shift to the opening scene of Rent, with MARK and ROGER in their bohemian apartment. They wear the classic Rent costumes, ROGER holds a guitar, etc.)
(And... nothing happens. For several seconds, MARK and ROGER simply do nothing, looking around a little. Maybe ROGER strums his guitar once or twice. MARK lets out a little cough. But for the most part, nothing.)
(Lights shift to SHELLY and TOM.)
TOM: I can't wait to see what happens next!

C: But if I surrender, they'll shoot me and I still won't get a Tony.
F: I promise you that they will, and you won't!
C: I believe you. I surrender.

Oh, if it's of any interest, Cody is now Batman (NOT Bruce Wayne), Anthony is Butch (with mind control powers), and I'm now Barry Manilow (yeah... I don't know why...)

My-My-Myatt / The Myatt Experience (including the "Horror of the Bulge" as well as "Couples Noises") -- coming to theaters or theatres near you soon!

"Water is good. It brings us life." Is what I deadpanned to a complete stranger, who probably thought me completely out of my mind. Oh well. At this point, honestly, who doesn't? ^.^

People who can't speak properly should NEVER be in a show where they have to say the word 'knickers' (used as some sort of expletive). Trust me on this one. [shudder]

QOTDs:
"This shall be my Super Secret Southeast Foundation of JUSTICE!"

"I-am-batman."

QOTDs:
"Well, maybe I'll stop wearing underwear!" (Amanda takes a moment to realize that this isn't actually spiting Jason)

--Now, when you land, try and go completely limp.
--Limp?
--Mmhmm.
--...all of me?

--Well... they... stole all the water from the poor Cuban people. And it was in a gate.
--Then what?
--Then they put it in Richard A. Nixon's pool!
--What'd he do?
--He tried to cover it up... but some of it leaked!
--Then what'd the Publicans do?
--They went to see a movie.
--What movie?
--Deep Throat.

Real_QOTDs:
"So, I went to the movies tonight and ended up under some hot asian chicks." Just to clarify, I did not say that.

"Batman Begins. Fred Stops."

Parents: So, what do you do for a living?
The_Boyfriend: I'm a batsuit consultant... yep...

"Well, I'm not the one who tatooed myself with a very hot spork..."

"And if I said no? ...well, you'd probably catch a plane back and kick my ass, because that'd be your reaction."

"So he rushed the pontiff-- DAMNIT! THE PLAINTIFF! Yeah, that's right, His Holiness himself was there..."

Thomas: It's empty.
Me: So's mine.
Note: imagine spoken, with sunglasses worn in the dark, in the most badass way imaginable and you have the patheticness that is us.

Yesterday_QOTDs:
"I want to stop at Barnes and Noble, because I heard about this book where four strangers meet on top of a roof because they're all going to kill themselves... sounded like a happy read...!"

"I'm sorry, but you simply cannot buy undies with someone you just met."

"Real men go commando!"

"<-- dbl" (MagnaDoodle goodness)

And, of course, all the joys that are brought about by rediscovering old quotes... ("I will build a revolving glass door in your head... someone's just angry inside")("shit-hide-the-pot!" which is only funny because it was a very literal pot. as in... a cooking pot.) And the "ONLY EMILY..." series. [sigh] Ahh, I'm such a character.

"These large, multinational corporations that are now trying to take over the world..." Just go watch it. Trust me.

The Voice

I'm just going to take a moment to marvel in the extent of Ryan's knowledge of hot Asians.

Wow.

< emo >

Why doesn't it ever seem to work out for the people it should? And WHY are all the agonizing love triangles popping up all among my friends? It's positively eerie, is what it is.

< /emo >

New clothes! They're so EXTREME!

QOTDs:
"My mouth is pretty much a minty desert."

"One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation."

"Get some alcohol in me and it gets twice as worse!"

The entire plot outline etc. of the show I's For You... too lengthy to list but hilarious and perfect! "Should sell it to Fox, they'll buy anything."

"Aaaand here's Kelly Clarkson, the original Billy Idol..."

"Ha! Now Ryan shall never know my secret popcorn process!"

Ryan: It's for the good of humanity, my dear.
Me: Sure, if you define humanity as Ryan Jewell.

These are for Thomas: (Van Helsing)


And these are for me! (Troy)(Phantom)




(And exposition... yes, right, doom and exposition)

For any who read this blog but not the comments, I'm going to repost this here since it should be read. File under unknowable

(Hehe, yeah, like hardly anyone really reads this anyway. Ah well. It serves to amuse me. ^.^)

QOTDs:
Me: So, it's a choice between the most romantic movie ever and the funniest movie ever?
B: Well, I kinda don't want to see the funniest movie ever.
Me: You don't want to see the funniest movie ever?

"Those are some huge boxers."

"Are you being attacked by a dog?"

"I HATE THIS MOVIE!"

"Arrrrgh now I hate this movie!"

Yep. The movie was a complete work of art, very beautiful and fascinating. But I effing hate it. WORST MOVIE EVER! In a way. (Note: This was neither the aforementioned funniest movie ever nor the most romantic movie ever.)

QOTDs:
--I missed you.
--I missed you too.

"Five or Six Years Earlier..."

"30+"

"Oh shit... it was left, wasn't it?"

"See, this would come in handy if the floor suddenly fell from beneath us."

Me: Aww, I'm sorry.
Thomas: Was that sarcasm?
Me: No.
Thomas: Was that sarcasm?
Me: ...no...
Thomas: Don't dig yourself into a hole.
Me: That would be bad. It's a metaphorical hole.
Thomas: With metaphorical worms.
Me: That metaphorically eat you alive.

Why strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power.

(because you touch yourself at night...? works? Y/N ?)

You know... I'd be sad about my peeling skin... which isn't all that bad, really--but James commented on here. What can I say? I'm feeling pretty good.

QOTDs:
Me: ...wow, we're sad.
Beth: I know. We seriously, utterly are.
Me: Categorically sad.
Beth: That too.

"Would you like a crumpet? Or a scone! I can do scones!"

Ryan (out of the blue): I'm So glad I read Dracula.

"If George Lucas was dead, he'd be rolling in his grave. "

Sunburn update: Peeling. I now somewhat resemble a leper.

Sunburn update: lobster-like.

QOTDs:
Ryan: I'm telling ya.
Me: You're telling me?
Ryan: Yeah...though I'm not sure what.

"Whatever made them think that I would give a rat's ass if my face stuck like that?"

"That has got to be the worst way to wake up EVER."

Urk... so... sunburned... look like giant walking strawberry...

Oedipus complex for the new millenium: wanting to sleep with your motherboard.

That, my friends, is an EEK original. (Although I'm 99.99999999% sure that it has probably been said by various people around the world many, many times before. I've just never heard it myself as of yet, except in my head.)

Well, I thought it was funny.

QOTDs:
Charm: You're a genius!
Me: Aww, you gave me CREDIT!
Charm: I gave her CREDIT!
Me: EXTREME CREDIT! It's like a war cry...

"A8 Club: Because Seven Eight Nine. Plus, we have credit."

"No big jump bounce bounce!"

"Emily, I owe you one. Tell you what, if you ever get mud in your eye, I'll go right in there." And he does owe me one. A big one. Oh, the owing is big.

"Well, let's face it, my hair is much more important than your bleeding."

"So I was filling out those Schiavo papers and seriously considered putting 'Magic Eight Ball' as the person who'd determine my fate."

Fight sternly in a Dying eye
Two Armies, Love and Certainty
And Love and the Reverse.

Sigh.

I know, I know, I'm violating all my principles and going ever-so-slightly emo. But hey, at least it's... not emo emo. Emily Dickinson's way too confusing/whacked-out-metaphorical to be truly emo, right??