The playwright Jonathan Rand was sitting at a sizeable table selling his wares, so, I bought a few scripts for a few short plays, one of them called "Check, Please", which is about a boy and a girl that go on a series of awful dates... it's hilarious, but I thought to myself, I have to post this bit on my blog. It's from a scene in which GIRL is on a date with MANNY, the man of a million phobias. It's not one of the better scenes, but... well, you'll see... the two have been trying to decide on entrees but Manny's afraid of all the food.

GIRL: How about the sushi?
MANNY: Japanaphobia. (Beat.) It's the-
GIRL: Yeah, I got it. How about this? It's that Hawaiian fish my dad loves. Lemme see if I can say it right: humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apuaa.
MANNY: That actually sounds delicious.
GIRL: Great!
MANNY: But I suffer from a rare case of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.
GIRL: Which is?
MANNY: Fear of long words.

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is basically the same thing as sesquipedalophobia, so I assume someone just thougt it was funny to make the "fear of long words" word longer. Sesquipedalophobia is the preferred word for use in formal writing. Another scene from the play, which is probably my favorite scene.

Scene 5
(Lights up to MARK dressed in nothing but a burlap sack. He's looking at the menu, as if nothing is out of the ordinary. GIRL is looking at him, expressionless. After several moments, he folds the menu, his dinner decision made. He looks up. Pause.)
MARK: (Innocent:) What?
(Scene.)

Then there's The Least Offensive Play In The Whole Darn World, which is basically an infomercial-type thing for the ScriptCleaner5000, which removes offensive material from shows...

SHELLY: While we're on the subject of the awards: In 1996, the world was taken by storm by another Pulitzer- and Tony-winning phenomenon called Rent. Rent is a rock opera that deals with a number of issues, including sex, drug use, mugging, strippers, violence, rioting, gays, lesbians, homelessness, drag queens, suicide, and AIDS.
(Pause.)
TOM: Those things are bad.
(Beat.)
Is there cursing?
SHELLY: There's rarely a moment without it.
TOM: Don't tell me the ScriptCleaner 5000 can help that trainwreck.
SHELLY: I won't tell you; I'll show you. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the musical sensation Rent, completely free of offensive material!
(Lights shift to the opening scene of Rent, with MARK and ROGER in their bohemian apartment. They wear the classic Rent costumes, ROGER holds a guitar, etc.)
(And... nothing happens. For several seconds, MARK and ROGER simply do nothing, looking around a little. Maybe ROGER strums his guitar once or twice. MARK lets out a little cough. But for the most part, nothing.)
(Lights shift to SHELLY and TOM.)
TOM: I can't wait to see what happens next!