Well, I'm back.

Trip Highlights:
-- Being called "little mama" by this guy at Times Square (I did look pretty foxy)
-- Sitting at a sidewalk cafe on Broadway and seeing a woman talk on an honest-to-god bananaphone
-- Driving on the Billy Graham Parkway down south
-- The surreal feeling when you walk through crowds of people speaking with a southern accent, hearing the vowel sounds, and almost thinking they might be speaking a foreign language
-- Seeing what I swear was a haunted house with a Christmas wreath on the door
-- More to come when A) I can remember them, B) I'm not tired and falling asleep on the rrrrrxsfhg987

The Magical Mystery Tour is waiting to take you away...

And so it begins.

Eeeeeeeeep.

See y'all next Saturday!

QOTD:

Gwyneth Paltrow: I'm really superstitious, like, before I make any movie, I, uh, kill a hobo with a hammer.

(Conan O'Brien is God.)

(No, actually, that's Jon Stewart.)

(Or is it Colbert?)

(Oh well, as long as I'm blaspheming, let's just go ahead with the Britney-Spears-is-God scenario. Yeah, I can see that...)

(
Britney!God: *chills in paradise*
J. Random Archangel: So, Britney!God, like, what are we going to do this decade?
Britney!God: Let's have the US invade the middle east!
J. Random Archangel: Uhh, didn't we already do that?
Britney!God: Baby, One More Time.
)

*cough* wow, I'm random today.

QOTDs:
Beth: I do a very good Satan impersonation.

Thomas: If you think about it, he really slept with his mother and his daughter... simultaneously.

[I walk downstairs to get a drink]
Phil: Oh, look who's back.
Ryan: She's between births.
[I walk back upstairs]
Phil: Have fun doing the dishes!

Thomas: So... she's... [long silence]
Me: Uhh...
Thomas: Cruffy?

David: Where's the popcorn? (Note: this QOTD is really only intended for awkward timing, since David and Brian walked in on us watching the show... at the exact and only point in which one girl is licking the other girl's stomach with her pierced tongue. And then the two people are having sex by the ice cream. Point is, bad timing.)

Thomas: Wait, where'd she get the taser?
Me: Fred?

QOTDs:
Thomas: It has to be inserted ANALLY.

The Tale of An Infelicitous Mishap
The DVD cover as nature intended (or amazon.com's picture, anyway):


However, me and Thomas stumbled upon this "new and improved" version at Borders with an unfortunately placed price tag and promptly photographed it (albeit poorly-- it's a whole cell phone camera thing):



Additionally, I added links to Thomas's blog and Brian/Justin's blog on the sidebar beneath word of the day. If anyone besides them reads this (and James, I know at least you do!), I encourage checking them out! Um, but not checking them out in the sexual sense. I mean, I suppose that's each person's choice, but I don't want to know about it if so. I don't think. Although I am an incorrigible gossip. < / ramble >

QOTDs:
Beth: Butterworth - 1. Birna - owned.

Ryan: Yeah... I was bored... so I was thinking about some stuff... but, that's it.

Thomas: Tell him your brother needs you! Family comes first, damnit!

QOTDs:

Certain Facebook member (who shall remain nameless): Fuck Democrats! Wooh!

Wall of Shamer: WE HAVE THE SAME KEY BOARD! ( i saw it in your picture gallery)
Emerson: NO............ WAY.............

Wall of Shamer: emerson i heard that you are dating emma watson and cant keep filming now... is this true?
Emerson: No, she dumped me for Brad Pitt after I called her fat during an argument.

So, the layout for the Wall of Shame and its parent site was done by a woman named Navy, who apparently lives in Australia. From an email: "Also, why did the Navy do your layout? I requested they do one for me and they never replied."

Funny, true, but I think the fact that it sent me into several solid minutes of hysterics testifies to the lateness of the hour. I mean, just imagine, the United States Navy gets an email from some chick asking them to build her a website layout.

Hilarious. Or just very, very, very late. Why am I up? I don't know. Maybe because I can't move my eyes away from the bloody screen.

QOTDs:



Conan's Celebrity Survey.
Question: As the situation in Iraq worsens, we cannot allow...
Hilary Clinton: Our resolve to weaken.
John Kerry: The war to continue.
George Bush: Gay people to get married.



Kill Bill Vol. 2: Uma Thurman lies sobbing on the bathroom floor of her hotel room.
Either Ryan or David or Bicknell (I can't honestly remember): Ohhh goooodddd, there's no kitchen in this hotel room! What am I going to do???



As always, icon creds to Cleolinda. One day I shall make some of my own... and they shall be funny! Just wait.... Oh, and I know I posted this one before... like, last August, but honestly, who's going to remember that? And it's one of my very favorite icons.

QOTDs:
"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

That's right... I'm breaking out the analogies again... go read them all.

James: No, currency's completely null and void after there's a new one crowned. All has to be reminted.
Me: Wow, your monarchs are really megaman-- megaloniac-- egotistical.
James: Megalomaniacal?
Me: My goodness, that's a mouthful of syllables.

Wow, look at the number of months under the Archives. That's crazy. That might be just about the longest I've ever stuck with any one thing. ^.^ Although I do find it amusing that there's something every month since January 2004... except February 2006. Heh.

I think the fact that my "estrogen field" was repeatedly blamed for making Phil miss badminton shots and the various sexist jokes continually and relentlessly launched in my direction for the next few days all merit a collective QOTD status.

I'd have to say that "estrogen field", along with the phrase "jumping the couch" (meaning a celebrity's sudden drop from public favor à la Tom Cruise, referencing "jumping the shark"), are my favorite new terms.

Pondering: So, if Tom Cruise is male, which I'm assuming he is as opposed to some androgynous alien being, should "à la" be replaced with "au" before his name? Of course, no one who reads this (or used to, since I stopped updating regularly -- if anyone's reading this out there, leave me a comment?) speaks French, unfortunately, so I shall explain: "la" would be used to precede feminine words, "le" is used to precede masculine words. There is no such phrase as "à le", it's replaced with "au".

I'm sure you can tell how late it is by my diction: when it gets late I either get ridiculous and somewhat pompous, or I just start swearing a lot more. Given that I saw Pulp Fiction (awesome, by the way) for the first time earlier today, I'm very surprised it isn't the latter. Oh well.

Aaaanyway. With a cessation of the random linguistic ramblings, I bid you all to bronze happily in summer sun and be merry. Except for any geeks out there. Keep up with the pale; bathe in your whitish-bluish monitor glow. I adore you all. Hope you enjoyed the few more Cleolinda Icons. Wheeeee!