QOTDs:
Beth: I do a very good Satan impersonation.

Thomas: If you think about it, he really slept with his mother and his daughter... simultaneously.

[I walk downstairs to get a drink]
Phil: Oh, look who's back.
Ryan: She's between births.
[I walk back upstairs]
Phil: Have fun doing the dishes!

Thomas: So... she's... [long silence]
Me: Uhh...
Thomas: Cruffy?

David: Where's the popcorn? (Note: this QOTD is really only intended for awkward timing, since David and Brian walked in on us watching the show... at the exact and only point in which one girl is licking the other girl's stomach with her pierced tongue. And then the two people are having sex by the ice cream. Point is, bad timing.)

Thomas: Wait, where'd she get the taser?
Me: Fred?