QOTDs:
Thomas: Now I SWEAR I'm not going to drop it this time!!!
Me: Oh, Thomas... that's not even the ticket.

Hermione: Harry, are you all right?
[British Accent] Me: I don't know, Hermione... I think I just experienced my first erection!

James: You know, you hear cats purring, they're not actually purring, they're drilling. You hear them behind the sofa and your friends say, "oh, your cat's drilling", and then it comes out and says "No, no, I don't know what you heard, it's purring you're thinking of... I'm a cat, you see."

James: My Badgers are lazy. I swear, I walked into the den the other day and they were all asleep!
Me: They're worn out from banging the aardvarks.

Ryan (getting whipped by hair): Agh!
Me: Sorry, sorry, it's way too long, I need to get like three inches chopped off.
Phil: Wow, I wish I had that problem.

Ryan: Honestly, I ate everything. Bicknell... if you'd visited me that day, I would have eaten you. Not kidding. I really would have eaten you, and not in the good way.
Bicknell: Heh, I call you... "RYAN JEWELL HUNGRY!!!" ... you eat me through the phone...