QOTDs:

Thomas: Hey, I can see her bra!

Me: Thomas!!! She just said Riley was her favorite character!!
Thomas: Oh, BLOW ME.

[Thomas and me sing "Rest In Peace". In the middle of IHOP. Loudly.]
Kelsey: I hope you're not singing that to me. Because... that'd be weird.
Thomas: Yes, Kelsey, because I'm a dead vampire who's madly in love with you.
Me: Yes, and then you'll have the violent sex.
Kelsey: What???
Me: ...Oh, well, clearly you haven't seen the next few episodes.

IHOP guy: Alcohol is good for you!

Kelsey: So how great would it be if you were in a club and some guy walks up to you and is like "heyyy..." *does the snap-groin-thrust dance*

Thomas: *does Nixon impression* I AM NOT A PRUDE.

Me: Her xanga is mostly quotes from other people! ...wait...

Me: Wow, did the weather guy just say it was raining in the Iraqi Mountains?
Thomas: ...yes, Emily, the Iraqi Mountains.
[pause]
Me: OH! The Rocky Mountains...!
Thomas: Q-O-T-fucking-D.