To: People of Earth
From: God
Date: 11/17/2004
Subject: stop

knock it off, all of you

seriously, what the hell

-- God


(Courtesy Spamusement)

So, yeah, being sick is not of the good. On the other hand, new self-made link to TWOP on the sidebar! Check it out. Gotta love the snark.

Also, a few v. entertaining Uncyclopedia articles:

Lord of the Rings

In his interpretation of the novels, JRR Tolkien set forth his radical political theory of diabolical maternalism, which basically states that monarchy is the best damn political system on the planet... The movie stars Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Viggo Mortensen and Chris Tucker as best friends and apartment-mates who live through much hijinks to get the girl.

Chav

In answer to the request of nuking all chav homes George W. Bush declared war on chavs in 1144 for 23 seconds. Upon realising that he didn't know what a chav was he returned to spanking Bill Gates... This article may be Overly British. Americans may not understand humour, only humor. Don't change a thing to remedy this. <-- Ironically similar to the thesis of my paper, "There's Humor and Then There's Humour". Bill Gates Spankfest '44 (tm) included.

Do NOT Delete This Article

Don't even think about deleting it, that means no NRV tagging or anything, You understand? Or you're dead. Me and God will team up, and maybe Jesus too, and we'll kill you. You will die.

Grue (especially "How to Deal With a Grue" and the pictures/captions)

So, I figured it's about time I show you all just how goshdarn cute my neices ARE.

Madeleine (looking pensive and possibly terrified, but still so cute! Look at the pretty eyes!):


Meredith (older) and Elizabeth (younger):

Mwahaha.

Also good for amusement: Try poetry.

Sorry about uber-length of post below, but come ON! They're so darn FUNNY! Plus... Lost! (I totally thought that "Not idly do the leaves of Driveshaft fall" bit in my head. So obvious. But still funny.)

Cleolinda Jones has a new one!

*curses at the sky that she has not the book* But I can order it now... potentially... from amazon.co.uk, and you KNOW that shipping's gonna be a bitch.

This is potentially one of the funniest things I've ever seen:
Check it out.
You might have to zoom in on it.

Caption Contest

Provide your own funny captions in the comments, s'il vous plait. If you like... I'm just having a lot of fun writing these not-even-very-funny ones just now. Instead of doing that whole studying thing.

Fuck.

Brian gets in touch with his true self.

And starring Seonha as Cousin It.

So... like... *hic* if they call it a belly button, why is it so close to my ribcage?

I could come up with something clever or as clever as I get this late, but I prefer to stick with Thomas' very entertaining original caption-- I'm actually very proud of him: "While it may appear that I am moved by something, I am actually simply very tired from a race and have a strange itch around my neck."

Dummm-dum-dum-dummmm... dummmm dummm --Can't Touch This!--

Becca gits-r-done. And by "her", we mean Thomas. (sorry, bro. it's the obligatory Thomas-is-feminine crack. one can't make a series of jokes without one. it's like a rule somewhere. in Bangledesh to not do it is a crime punishable by death. oh dear god, I'm actually not capitalizing correctly. is anyone still reading this?)

More to come. Believe me, I have lots left up my sleeve. Oh yes, lots. Mwahahaha. One, one bat. Six, six bats. And at this point this entry has become a stream of consciousness exercise. Much like trying to read Faulkner.

DUNNNNNNNN! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN!

QOTDs:
Thomas: As soon as he turned around, I touched it.

Justin: Okay, so women can be on their backs--
Jacob: On their fronts--
Justin: On top--
Thomas: Or in the kitchen!

Thomas: It's like he's the mob...
Me: Yes, the dreaded Madison Mafia.

Thomas: He's probably talking to his Brit goth friends right now saying "she's not going to like meeee" with the tears smearing his mascara down his face.
Me: Hey! Eyeliner! And he's actually working at a lesbian wedding.
Thomas: With the tears smearing his eyeliner down his face. "It's so beautiful..."
Me: He is so going to hit you over the head.

Thomas: Say something.
David: Hello. And/or "something".
Thomas: Emily needs a QOTD.
David: How about a quote of your MOTHER. Because days suck... and so does your mother. I guess. As do vacuum cleaners.
Thomas: That'll do.