QOTDs:
"So, should I tell the little kiddies that I can light a bulb using nuclear fusion?"

Me: Quick, say something brilliant and witty.
David: Die.

"Remember we two are women!"

"...ever since we were stripped..."

"Incest!? ... Incest!? ... A couch!?"

"David hit an old lady. With his fists. And a wiffle bat. Then she beat him up. And then she kicked his bumper. Hard. So it twisted and bent..."

"Fo shizzle, goddess... peace out."

"I am thicker than two short planks."