QOTDs:
Montell: Aha! I knew it was you.
Me: ...how?
Montell: Your boots. I thought-- who else has huge honkin' boots like that?

"I have cleavage!"

"Okay, now I kinda want to see this Japanese schoolgirl, because I'm curious. NOT LIKE THAT!"

Me: Yeah, but Thomas can be funny. In his own special way.
David: Yes, Thomas is funny... when you hit him over the head with a hammer.
Thomas: Eh?
David: Don't worry about it, I'll show you later.

Me: "He doesn't know... she doesn't know..." I don't know!
Tunis: Emily, that may have been the funniest thing I've ever heard you say. And I'm not sure why.

"I can see the advantages of being a hermaphrodite."

~*~

And now for the list of horrifyingly literal jokes (most come from David and Ryan, I think the last one's from Tunis):

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says "Holy shit! Walking rope!"

Q: What's the best form of sexual abstinence?
A: David.