QOTDs:
Me: Gonna do the maypole thing?
Thomas: The what?
Me: Maypole.
Thomas: Eh?
Me: Maaaayyyy pooooollleee.
Thomas: Maple? What?
Me: No, MAY POLE. May POLE. MAY pole. MAY POOOOLE.
Thomas: Oh, with an N?
Me: Oh god.
The sad part about that little recap... that's only about 1/3 as long as it went on.

"Why would I flog a dead horse? It's dead..."

"OH EM, THINE SELF BE OVERFLOWING WITH WIT.
FETCH NOW A PRESERVE BEFORE YE FIND THY SELF DROWNED IN IT."

"Yeah? Well... I'll... feast on your eyes and make merry with your more attractive virginal sons."

~*~

I would have just added those onto the quote below, but... I thought the safety word deserved to stand on its own.

So, in a riveting telephone conversation with my mother, I found out that the current CEO of Burger King is actually my second cousin once removed. There was an article about him in the Wall Street the other day.

Not sure whether that's good or bad.

"Hack the corporate reality! They're brainwashing you! Do it now before it's too-"