QOTD: "No, it's all right, you just got confused... you have PROsthetic testes."

I never met a phor I didn't like. (Not strictly true, but felt like writing that.)

"The thing that goes back and forth inside the old grandfather clock swung like a pendulum."
"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."
"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the sunlit, grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."
"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."