QOTDs:
"Is it getting hot in here? No, it's just my rostrum!"

Pretty much any variant of a "rostrum" joke you can think of.

"I consider you a sycophant, and you consider me weak."

"We were on our way out of Camden and I said something about teenage goths and pretentious poetry i.e. 'Black...I wear it because black is like me. It is without life and meaning. It is empty. Black is like my soul.'"

"This is not a car. I am not a banana." (for more see: http://bloomd.home.mchsi.com/dot/)

From David's taped AlTV thing:
Weird Al: So... I hear when you were young your parents were cooked and eaten by cannibals!!?!?
Celine Dion: Yes, I could smell my mother cooking.