Right. You can all bash me in the comments for posting so much in one day, but consider this compensation, because I most likely won't post for another few months after this.

I found this book of ludicrously pretentious poetry in a used bookstore a while back for $1.00... it's the sort of thing that, if read in a posh sort of voice and with a disdainful yet passionate expression, would be highly effective. Here's a sample.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to quote from John Stone..."

The Pigeon Sonnets #8:
Cooing in University College Quad the Lover-Pigeon Wakes Him Up at 5 A.M.

The shortest way between two distances
in a quad. The bird, a baritone,
with all of Romeo's insistences,
banks Pigdin-English off the ancient stone.

The lover gargles loudly, but to whom?
Amplified as through a microphone
to resonate more roundly in my room
the sum of all his sound is monotone.

I have no doubt that she will reappear:
though it's the season to doubt everything,
that pigeons mate for life is also clear.

I move he wait her out, at least till spring:
A love is someone who can always hear
the only music you can ever sing.

Edit: Forgot to mention the book is autographed for Arlene, whoever she may be. ^_^